What's the funniest thing you heard in a movie theater?

Too many people heard her. Some guys behind us snickered at my sister’s remark.

Someone in the audience (who wasn’t paying attention) asked where the movie took place. Being born in the Midwest, my cousin jokingly shouted, “Iowa!”

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Yeah, right!

You guys are talking about having sex with dogs. I heard a news man was trying to have sex with a female dog and got stuck inside. Is that possible? How does it feel inside a dog’s vagina?

My sister, a cousin, and I went to see “Love Story” in 1971 at a theater in Minneapolis. The movie starred Ali MacGraw and Ryan O’Neal.

I was surprised that I wasn’t able to shed a tear. I am an emotional sort of person, but that movie just didn’t do it for me.

She glanced over at my dry eyes and loudly asked, “Why aren’t you crying?” I looked at her in surprise wondering why I wasn’t crying.

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I almost giggled when the thunderous background music crashed down over some dramatic scene. The music was way too loud.

That did it for me. I spat up my Coke and had to leave to clean up in the restroom.

Ali’s character called him "Preppy," if I remember right. He attended Harvard and she went to Radcliffe College.

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I noticed heads bobbing and turning to look at the cold-hearted 16-year-old girl who didn’t cry. I lowered myself in the seat and tried to squeeze out a tear, but I couldn’t manage it.

My cousin didn’t want to go, but he had a car and could drive us to the theater.

The acting just wasn’t believable. Ali’s swearing seemed so rehearsed, and Ryan played the poor little rich boy who played hockey.

Why am I totally different than others? Why do I have a problem with my basic knowledge about society and reality? Why am I dumb and stupid?

Finally, the music quieted down, and there was a 10-second lull. The only sounds I heard were people sniffing and sobbing around me. My sister was crying as well.

As the movie progressed, Ali’s character was diagnosed with cancer. It was sad; I understand that. But everyone in the packed theater— and I mean everyone—seemed to be crying. I was the only person sitting there like a rock, staring straight ahead.